Friday, May 30

He has your smile.

This week we have been celebrating my mom's retirement, the end of the school year & the start of summer.  Flowers have been planted, birds are chirping, porches being used again.  Its time to break out the Summer Bucket List.  Always on that list: a drive-in movie, making s'mores, & playing tennis at the park.  I'm looking forward to adding new things to the list as well.

My sweet, sweet baby is 6 months old today.  6 months.  Half a year.  You can find me in the corner crying.  I know every parent says it.  People have told me.  They still tell goes by so fast.  And it does.  The past 6 months have been nothing but pure joy.  It literally feels like yesterday that we were waking up to my phone ringing at 6 am.  Dane's birthmother in labor.  The mad dash to get to the hospital.  I can't even wash the sweats I wore that day.  Immeasurable happiness, yet so much pain wrapped up together in those sweats.  It sounds silly, I know.  I still replay the hospital images in my mind & Devin and I talk about it quite a bit.  Its good to talk about it.

During these past 6 months, I have gotten a lot of comments while out in public.  "Oh how cute!"  "How old is he?"  "What a happy baby!"  And then the ever popular & yet sometimes dreaded - "He looks just like you."  What should I say to this?  He does look like me...the blonde hair does it, I guess.  But he has strikingly blue eyes, that almost can't be described.  Sea foam, mixed with a foggy sky blue.  Actually similar to our daddy's baby blues.  His eyes definitely don't match my dark brown ones, and that's ok.  I get this comment a lot in public.  I have given numerous responses...from the smile & nod, to "well, he was adopted - so...." Which always results in either, 1) a lengthy adoption conversation which could lead to numerous questions or 2) an uncomfortable, awkward response from the person asking.  Which results in more awkwardness and then we just go our separate ways.  Heads down.  Dane still smiling.  He didn't even know what was being asked.  It is tricky to deal with these questions when the baby you adopted does resemble you or your husband.  So I deal with the questions the best that I know how & move on.

But this week's comment was a little different.  A sweet old lady came up to us in the store this week and said softly, "He has your smile."  Hmmmm.  I did the smile & nod, thanked her & we were on our way.  I was telling a friend about this and almost wanting pity for the I-get-these-things all the time, why can't I ever JUST be a mom-type of thing, and she said, "Abigail.  He DOES have your smile.  You smile at him all the time.  He sees your smile and mimics it.  He. has. your. smile.

Pity party cleaned up & put away for another day.

And you know what?  It's true.  He might not have my eyes or my freckles (thank goodness).  He might not have Devin's broad shoulders or dark hair.  He may never share my love for reading (but man  oh man, am I going to try), and he may never inherit Devin's athletic abilities.  But he does have my smile.  And that is undeniable.

And what a smile it is.  

Happy weekend, friends.  Give a compliment to a stranger.  It's fun.  


  1. I get this with Daulton when people ask if I'm his mom. Most of the time I answer yes. I am not disrespectful to his mom, but I am a mother to him as well. I know that I am in his life for a reason and he needs me for so many things. To that little boy you are his entire world and he will absorb all of the good qualities you and Devin have, regardless of whose DNA he has.

    1. Thanks, Abby...and you are so right! I just love how families come together in all sorts of ways!

  2. My dear, what class and grace you have. The questions are tough, especially when your skin is the same color! (unlike our situation here...) I LOVE the "he has your smile" comment, that is perfect. You know, it isn't fair that as adoptive mommies we have to even feel awkward or weird when someone makes a comment in regards to the looks of our children, etc...however, it is a reminder of just how lucky WE are, lucky to have our children, and lucky beyond belief that their birthmothers/fathers, families chose US to parent, love, and care for our babies!!!! Love you dear, adoptive mommies rock!!!!

    1. Thanks, girlie! Yes, questions can be tough - and we have all had some doozies! But, like you said...WE are the lucky ones! love and miss you! xoxo


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