C is for Carter, carving, & competition. Ah, competition. My competitive nature started early when my mother decided to put me in beauty pageants at a young age. Yes, I was the Honey Boo Boo of the 80s. Y'all better redneckanize. I distinctly remember my sweet mom (she will deny this until blue in the face) saying, "Now Abigail, you won't win this pageant - but you will have a lot of fun & that is all that matters." Wrong. I strutted my stuff down the runway, blew a kiss to the judges & BOOM the votes were tallied. Abigail Vestile - Little Miss Regatta 1989. I still have the cubic zirconia tiara to prove it, & the memory of being queen for a day. Wait - what memory...I'm still the queen.
My competitive nature didn't stop there. From board games to dance competitions to neighborhood talent shows I didn't care what I was competing for...as long as I won. Field day with my kindergarten class? I have to refrain from making my kids run suicides weeks before in order to train, & I may or may not have jumped in as anchor before so they would win Tug Of War. Oopsie. Dev & I like to compete in things also. Whether that be road trip scavenger hunts, Christmas cookie bake-offs or a Carter favorite: The Pain Game. We pinch each other until someone can't take the pain anymore & yells stop. Very strange, I know. But, that's what you do when you have been together for 12 years, do not have children & run out of things to talk about. You can judge, it's ok.
This year we decided to hold a Carter Carving Contest. I thought it would be fun (& an easy win of course). We would choose our pumpkins, carve them & ask our Facebook friends to vote for their favorite. The loser would do dishes for a week. The winner would receive the esteemed Carving Contest #1 title. Cue action shots:
Finding a pumpkin at the pumpkin patch...or the store on the side of the road that sells them for cheap.
Setting the mood properly.
Guts. Act tired so that your husband scrapes for you.
Use the guts to make a skinny pumpkin smoothie.
Just kidding - really use Libby's canned pumpkin. Or canned gold, in my opinion.
The finished products. Let the voting begin.
After the votes were tallied, Pumpkin A received 26 votes & Pumpkin B received 17.
I'm embarrassed to admit that my pumpkin was B, therefore I lose.
This makes my blood boil.
I am a sore loser. With a poor personal appearance, apparently.
I can only blame that on teaching 26 five-year olds on Halloween.
I was not prepared for the loss & can only blame myself. Maybe my design was too hard, my pumpkin had too many ridges, or people just simply favor un-creative owls these days. You can better believe I will be back & better than ever next year though. Until then - these pots & pans are about to be my best friend for a week.
Except I won't be making friendship bracelets for them or passing notes back & forth in the hallway.
Happy Pumpkin Day, voters. Thanks for nothing.
Shoyu Ahi Poke
6 hours ago